Philly Haysoos

It was an unbecoming fact that living short of dying was no way for Philly to live, was no way Philly wanted to live anyways. Philly had something else in mind, something a little less morose.

Grab, move, make and keep your being. Keep it sacred for as long as you can while mixing spirits with sweets. Occasionally keep your mark, but as you are kindly and considerately keeping your mark, meet others where they are at and properly commiserate. 

Don’t hold back, give it your all. But don’t be shy about it, either. Make it loud and make it count. Become loud so that people can hear you. Stay loud so that people continue to hear you. Bemoan your opinions so that they stay fried and crispy. 

Don’t become what you hate, never become what you hate. Don’t do that to yourself. Never surprise yourself in terrible and tragic ways – it’s never worth it, even in auspicious circumstances and when you’re feeling somewhat self-destructive. It’s still never worth it, even in those devious and unsuspecting circumstances. 

Don’t bow to your elders, particularly when your elders are crumbling at the seams and barking at random dogs on the street. Be discretionary. Be discretionary with your time and resources and above all, be discretionary in who you choose to bow to and who you choose to refrain from bowing to. Discretion is the lifeblood of adulthood.

Do not make your mark too wide, lest a buzzard zoom and careen and mock the very lifeblood you hold dear. Do not careen your cranium into the side of a building, for if you do something like that then all hell will break loose for everyone involved, within and without your head. Salmon needs for a trout mind. 

And when you dip your toes into the water of ineptitude, what do you find? More scum in the places of the deep. Deep and depth are nothing for your vibrant eyes. 

If you sacrifice your firstborn unto the Gorgon of Chaos, what do you expect to receive in return? Riches? Glory? The dead raised? I doubt that any of that would happen. I doubt that any of that would ever happen on your timeline.

And should a fine pixie come crawling your way? Well then let it crawl your way, but do not come crawling and complain back to me. And if the meaning is solid and somewhat wicked, then you are good to go and you don’t need to complain. And if it’s a miracle you expect to never see again, then appreciate the miracle for what it is and listen to the music around you.

What can you say when the world opens to you and the music really begins to spread? A poppy twice is a poppy earned, and everyone around you can validate this and prove that all is legitimate. What is more to be said, what is more to be said when the kids are all out of the house and you have all this so-long yearned for “alone time”? What’s anyone to say or do then? 

It’s a beautiful thing when you can finally be alone with yourself and remember that for as long as you are alone you are allowed to be alone. That’s the way these things so often go. You always need to have something or someone to take care of – or at least, most people need something or someone to take care of. That piece is absolutely paramount, and every time someone else realizes this about themselves, an angel gets his wings. 

That’s what Mama always told me, going back and forth in the rocking chair with the big Bible on her lap, and me on the couch with the big bowl of meat chili in my lap. ‘Be kind, Philly’, she would tell me slowly. ‘Be kind,’ she would say painfully slow. And this was received well, for back then I was more simple minded, I must admit. I could barely lift the spoonfuls of chili from the bowl in my lap to my mouth without creating a mess and getting it all over my nightshirt. 

I must remember what old great grandmother Edna and great grandfather Eddie told me in their graves that one night. When they thought no one else was looking or listening, they said in unison in their cold dark voices: ‘Drive fancier cars, if you can afford it.’

And my liver has never been the same since.