Coffee Table Low

Cat go into living room, cat see sandwich on plate. Plate with sandwich down low on coffee table, coffee table so low to ground. Coffee table so very low to ground. Way, way too low. Far too low. Enough for me and the dog and the other cat and the whole infantry to pounce on and never let go of. Enough to demolish. Put anything, anything edible, anything edible at all on the low coffee table and see what happens. Watch what occurs and see what havoc grows in broad daylight. 

Cat see, cat do. Monkey see, monkey do. But cat far more powerful and influential than monkey. Cat a bigger boss than dog. Cat a bigger boss than other cat. Other cat striped and weak and nearly half the size as me. Cat and dog weaklings, pure and simple. Me the true and noble breed. Me the one with the full potential to make sandwich happen. 

Cat slink, cat slink in like prize winning hog on fair day, with lots of corn and chicken and lemonade and cotton candy around. Cat come in nice and slow and proud, and greatly pretending like coffee table low mean absolutely nothing to him. Absolutely nothing. Passing fancy, something in his periphery eyeballs and absolutely nothing else, please and thank you. 

Slink up nice and slow, nice and slow now like absolutely no one is watching, please and thank you. If so happens someone is in the room and is watching, and if so happens no one is in the room and watching, makes no difference to cat. Makes no difference to feline. We unawares. So unawares. 

But as happens, holy rollers, no one is in the room and watching us, pleases and thank yous. Cat doesn’t seem to mind, of course all heavens, and so it pleases the court. Does cat think anything about this, any which way, cat and mongrels ask in full force. Cat shrugs the slinky shoulders, and gives no such thing away. Cat is none the wiser, cat will not tell one way or the other. Just try and pry it out of cat. 

Meow! Meow! Hiss, hiss, hiss! 

We all slink towards the middle, towards the open sandwich. All gnarly and proud. Yes, gnarly and wicked! The open faced sandwich, with hard boiled egg on either side. 

No time. No time, no time, no time. We pounce. And devour! Yes, devour! 

Cats now, cats do not have as open mouths, open jaws, wider bellies, as dogs do. As other animals on the blue and white planet. But cats make do. Especially cats such as mine, as here! 

Cats pounce! And cats take! And cats devour! 

I made me mine in a matter of minutes, and no marked hits for a felines such as this. I make thee mine in my belly, for forever! And ever! I feel it in my belly, the small belly that shall surely grow three sizes over the next day and a half. Oh, but significantly surely! 

Thy paws make thy mark on yon carpet, and the steps lead away into deniability and unwarranted innocence. 

No humans in sight. No dog or other cat in sight. An empty plate on the coffee table low, surrounded by health magazines and an unlit candle. 

Oh, sweet hallmark. Oh, sweet Baroness of gluten and ham. 

Meow, and meow. Hiss, hiss, hiss!